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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24037678">Complicated.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/itswoxo/pseuds/itswoxo'>itswoxo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:34:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,446</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24037678</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/itswoxo/pseuds/itswoxo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos was so in love, TK was so scared.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carlos Reyes/TK Strand</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>114</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. What now?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I’m so nervous. This is my very first attempt to write a fic in English. So don’t be so hard on me please. (and so sorry for my mistakes!) I hope you like it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>Carlos opened his eyes and looked around for a while. Again, he woke up alone. TK never stayed after they hooked up. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>hooked up</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Carlos never wanna called what they had a “hook up”. It was more than that. Only for Carlos, obviously. He really liked spending time with TK, sex or not. Just being with him was fun and felt right, but TK wasn’t looking for more than a hook up. So Carlos tried not to think about it. He acted like they were on the same page. It was alright.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Till it wasn’t.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Few days later, after his shift Carlos’s colleagues asked him to come to the bar with them. Before he said yes, he texted TK if he wanted to hang out, but TK said he had plans with his team. He wanted to asked the details but instead he replied <em>okay, another time</em>. So he went to the bar.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He danced with friends, didn’t drink anything because of an early shift the next day. He was about to leave when he saw TK. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The team, someone Carlos didn’t know, and TK entered the bar and they were laughing at Mateo. TK looked beautiful when he laughed. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He decided to stay a little longer. Everytime he saw TK, he felt so nervous that his hands were shaking. He liked that boy so damn much. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>After he talked and laughed at ridiculous things with his friends little more, he took a deep breath and turned around to look for TK. When he saw him, he felt his heart breaking. <em>You have no right to feel like this!</em> he told himself. <em>He can dance with whoever he wants! You are nothing to him! </em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>TK was dancing and laughing with that someone. He seemed so carefree that Carlos didn’t want to break it. So he just left. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>On the way to his car, someone shouted his name.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Carlos!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>That was Paul. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hey Paul.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Where are you going? Come join us! TK is here too if you wonder.” he said with a huge smirk on his face. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah I know. I saw him, but I have an early shift tomorrow and I need rest. Say hi for me to everyone.” He didn’t even wait for Paul’s answer. He wanted to go home and sleep. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>--</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Two days later he got a text from TK.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <strong>wanna meet up tonight?</strong>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He was trying to forget about his feelings but these messages were not helping.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <strong>another time, late shift.</strong>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He knew he was being unreasonable. He was at home doing nothing, but he had to do it for himself! He didn’t want to fall in love with a person who did not feel the same. It was unfair, to both of them. Carlos knew TK was not ready for a relationship and he respected him. But he had feelings for TK and it was so hard to know that they had no chance. So this was the best thing to do. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>TK could find anyone to hook up anyway.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>--</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Two weeks later, on his day-off Carlos did his laundry, read some book, cooked for himself an easy meal, took a shower and in the evening, he was taking a nap in the hammock in his backyard. He felt relieved somehow. It wasn’t like it’s the end of the world. <em>If it is not meant to be, it’s not meant to be. Yeah, that’s it </em>he said to himselfall the time.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Everytime TK texted, Carlos made up an excuse. Apperantly TK got bored from this situation because he didn’t get any messages from TK for five days. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was okay. It was what he wanted, right?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Then why the fuck he was feeling so heartbroken?  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Later in that evening, he heard someone knocking at his door but he ignored it. He didn’t want to see anyone. He closed his eyes and kept swinging. A few moments later, he flinched at a loud noise.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What are you doing! I thought something happened to you! Didn’t you hear the door?” Carlos realized that he missed that voice so much. He couldn’t say anything. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Carlos?” said TK. His voice was soft this time, and concerned. Carlos just looked at him. He felt that his heart was beating faster. “Umm.. sorry I didn’t hear. What are you doing here TK? How did you get in?” His voice was trembling. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>TK ignored his questions. “Carlos, are you okay?” he asked and sit beside him. “I was worried about you. You didn’t text, call or wanna see me. I thought I did something but I don’t know what I did to make you mad, but... It’s been too long and I wanted to see you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Why?” Carlos asked. He didn’t want TK to worry about him.  “What do you mean why? You are my-”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I am your what TK!” He couldn’t hold it anymore.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>TK looked at Carlos carefully. There were tears in his eyes and he was afraid that he was the reason of those tears. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You’re my... friend. Carlos I really care about you.” Carlos laughed. “Don’t, TK. Don’t worry about me. I’m gonna be okay. You can go.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I don’t wanna go.” TK said. He wanted to stay with Carlos, and sleep in his arms. He wanted to feel safe, and TK was feeling safe only with Carlos.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I don’t care about what you want! Just go!” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>TK flinched, but he was determined to not to leave. “No I’m not leaving you like this. Carlos please, let’s talk. I wanna know what happened to you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You are what happened to me TK!” TK couldn’t breath for a few seconds. Carlos felt regretfull the moment he said those words. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“TK, I just need to be alone. I’m angry to myself, not you or anyone else.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I don’t believe you. I know you are like this because of me and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Carlos...” TK tried to reach him, but Carlos took a step back.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I am responsible for my feelings. You have nothing to be sorry about.” Carlos sounded so tired that TK couldn’t hold his tears. He never wanted to hurt him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p> “I’m just... I already knew the moment I saw you that I was so gone for you.” he laughed wearily. “Please don’t cry Tiger. It’s okay. I understand. You were clear about this from the beginning. Don’t ever think that I blame you or I’m mad at you.” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Carlos didn’t want to see TK crying. He opened his arms and took him in. TK hold him so tight and burried his head in his neck. “I’m sorry Carlos.. I-I like you, I like you so much. You are everything I need and I want, but I’m not enough for you. I’m a wreck. I can’t do this to you.” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>At that moment, Carlos just wanted to take TK somewhere only they knew and keep him away from all the evil thoughts. “It’s okay TK, it’s okay.” <em> I wish you just let me decide that, you can't even see that it's okay not to be okay sometimes.</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>TK looked Carlos in the eye and smiled. “When I said you are my friend, I was telling the truth. You are my best friend Carlos, I don’t wanna lose you. I know it’s selfish, but I just don’t...”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Carlos caressed his back and hold him a little longer. “You are not going to lose me Tiger.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They were tired and didn’t want to let go each other. Without a word, Carlos hold his hand and took him to the bedroom. At that night, they hold each other so tight that they knew something between them were about the change. They didn’t talk about it. They just closed their eyes and sleep in each other’s arms.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Love Now.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Carlos was still so in love, and this time TK was more than ready.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m so nervous. This is my very first attempt to write a fic in English. So don’t be so hard on me please. (and so sorry for my mistakes!) I hope you like it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> Something definitely changed between them in the last four months. They were still seeing each other, few times in a week actually, but they never had sex or just slept together since that night. They never stayed alone or went to Carlos’s house. Still, everytime TK wanted to talk to someone he called Carlos, and Carlos was happy with it because he was also wanted to talk TK and hear his voice whenever he could.</p><p>No matter how it seemed that there was no problem between them, there was an invisible wall between the two. They could feel it. </p><p>Everyone did at some point.</p><p>“So... you are still not going to talk about Carlos?” Owen asked with a soft voice.</p><p>“There is nothing to talk about, Dad. I told you we are good.” Even TK himself didn’t believe in his own words.</p><p>“Then why you have that upset-guilty-almost-crying-puppy-face around him?”</p><p>“Dad! I don’t!” TK couldn’t believe his dad said that. He was trying too hard to not make Carlos uncomfortable when they were together and he had that fucking face? He was an idiot.</p><p>“Yes you have. Oh, and Carlos has one too! His face is i’m-tough-and-definitely-not-gonna-break-down-right-here-face with a fake smile around you.” Owen’s voice got thick when he described Carlos’s face. He looked at TK and waited for an answer.</p><p>TK sighed deeply. “I don’t know okay! I don’t know what’s going on with us. I told him I wasn’t ready for a relationship but wanted him close because I couldn’t and didn’t wanna lose him! I’m a selfish asshole and I don’t know what to do now! <br/><br/>It’s been four months and I miss him so damn much even though I see him most of the time! Because I can’t hold him or.. or.. hug him! Kiss him! Talk to him without getting weird! I miss sleeping while he is holding me! I miss just being with him!” TK wiped away his tears with his sleeve.<br/> <br/>“I miss everything about him dad... ” His voice was like a whisper. His dad hold him in his arms till his tears stopped. </p><p>“Son, I’ve been watching you struggle for a long time, but past four months? I’ve never seen you like this. Now I’m gonna ask you a question and you are gonna answer it immediately, without thinking too much and worry about it. Okay?”</p><p>TK nodded.</p><p>“Do you love him?”</p><p>TK didn’t even blink.</p><p>“Yes dad. I love him.” </p><p>A tear slid silently down his face but for the first time in four months, he felt refreshed.</p><p>---</p><p>Carlos was laying down on his couch and looking at photos on his phone.When he saw a photo of TK sleeping on his chest, he smiled sadly. He missed him. </p><p>There was an another photo. They were in bed, again, and Carlos was kissing TK’s neck and TK was smiling widely. <br/><br/><em>I wish you were here Tiger.</em> <br/><br/>He kept looking at photos of them. TK being adorable, feeling proud and smiling happily at the camera when he first cooked breakfast without creating a disaster in the kitchen, trying to hide his face from camera when he was sleepy, Carlos hugging TK from behind and both had a sweet smiles on their faces...</p><p>Suddenly, he heard a knock on the door. <em>You don't have to check on me every night Michelle...</em><br/><br/>He got and walked up to the door and opened it.</p><p>It wasn’t Michelle.</p><p>“TK?”</p><p>He was wearing a purple hoodie and he was playing with his fingers like he didn’t know where to put his hands or where to stand. </p><p>“H-hi Carlos.” He said nervously.</p><p>The last time Carlos saw TK in his house was months ago. “What are you doing here?” His voice was a proof of how surprised he was. </p><p>“I wanted to talk. Not on the phone this time, because I need to tell you something important and I want to say it to your face and I want you to look at me when I’m saying it.” Suddenly his whole mood was changed and now he looked so determined and fearless, ready. </p><p>“O-okay...umm.. you can come in? If you want.” </p><p>Carlos’s heartbeat was so fast. He couldn’t understand what was going on but the way TK looked at him, talked to him was different.</p><p>He closed the door. “Do you want coffee? Or something else? I was drinking chamomil-”</p><p>“No! No, I don’t want anything. Just.. listen to me please.” </p><p>Carlos looked at him carefully. “Okay.. I’m listening.”</p><p>TK took a few steps forward and held Carlos’s hands. Carlos felt giddy a little bit.  “I’ve been thinking about... about you a-and.. us.” </p><p>TK took a deep breath. He was sweating and Carlos was looking so confused. </p><p>“I know I made you feel bad, and.. broke your heart. I’m so sorry for m-”</p><p>Carlos pulled his hands back. “If  you come here to apologize again, don’t. You did that four months ago and I don’t need to hear it again.” </p><p>“No! No, I’m not here to apologize. I’m... I want you to know... I mean..”</p><p>TK was struggling so bad and his eyes were filled with tears. Carlos never wanted to see him sad or anxious, or just feeling bad. Carlos definitely had a weakness for him.</p><p>This time Carlos held his hands. “TK, what’s going on? Tell me.” The moment TK heard Carlos’s soft, soothing voice, all of the evil and dark thoughts left his mind.</p><p>He looked right into Carlos’s eyes and smiled. A tear slipped away. “I love you.”</p><p>Carlos’s reaction was priceless. His mouth dropped open slightly, and his eyebrows rose in surprise. He couldn’t say anything.</p><p>“I’m so sorry for not saying it before... I miss you so much. If you want to take me back, I’m here. I’m here and in love with you.”</p><p>Carlos looked so fragile. “And now... you are not scared? Are you sure? I mean... Are you ready for..”</p><p>“YES! Yes I want to be with you for the fucking rest of my life!” TK was smiling widely but then with a thought that came into his mind his smile was gone. Carlos immediately realized that something was wrong. <em>Did he regret of saying “rest of my life”? </em></p><p>All of a sudden, TK hold his face between his hands and looked right into Carlos’s eyes. “You want to be with me right? You still feel the same and you... you love me? Carlos please tell me you love me and wanna be with me for the rest of your life!”</p><p>Carlos couldn’t help but laugh at his stupid worries. Of course he was in love with him... <br/><br/>TK was breathing hard and Carlos didn’t want to torture both of them anymore.</p><p>“Tiger?”</p><p>“Y-yes?”</p><p>“Kiss me.”</p><p>TK smiled and rested his forehead against his. “Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>That night was their new beginning. It was time for love..</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi! If you want, you can send me prompts on tumblr (my username is itswoxo in there too and I don't know how to put the link here sorry) and I can try to write them! (I may be a little slow by the way but I'm trying to get better at writing)</p><p>I hope you like this one. Take care!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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